The Agony of Joy by Red Haircrow

 TITLE: The Agony of Joy

AUTHOR: Red Haircrow

PUBLISHER: JMS Books

LENGTH: 337 pages

RELEASE DATE:  29^th June 2024

BLURB:

Former model-turned-actor Adrian Lee can barely list age range 23–29 on his résumé anymore, nor stand his life of empty social events and appearances, meaningless roles, and casual partners. When he meets Alexander Skizetsky by clever arrangement of his agent, the enigmatic yet infinitely attractive Russian kindles a little light of hope in his aching heart. Yet even the beginnings of a friendship and love beyond his wildest dreams cannot stop a life spiralling out of control.

The long estrangement from his devout Irish Catholic parents and family and the dark secrets they all share combine to drive Adrian to the brink of despair, though Alexander becomes determined to stay by his side. After locking away his own memories of betrayal and loss, Lexx had decided never to love again, but something in Adrian spurs the noblest intentions in his formerly jaded heart.

Returning in pilgrimage to Alexander’s homeland, on a journey of rebirth, revelation and redemption, can they escape the ghosts of their pasts to find true love together?

NOTE: This book contains references to childhood sexual assault that might disturb some readers.

REVIEW:

This book is extremely visual. One of the author’s greatest strengths lies in their ability to describe surroundings in vivid detail. From a small appartment, to entire cities, the characters’ world is drawn in vivid colour and it is easy to picture everything alongside the characters themselves.

Another strength is the characterisation. Each character has a unique voice and a unique viewpoint, and although that viewpoint is often awkward or flawed it is always authentic and coherent to the character. Whilst this is undoubtedly a romance first, it is also a travel guide, clearly showing the author’s love for the places they talk about and the things that can be found within the locations.

The romance itself is by no means straightforward. To say that both the characters are flawed would be an understatement for sure and this leads to a flawed and sometimes broken relationship. They stumble from one problem to the next, not always dealing with things in a neat and logical way. For the most part, this is absolutely authentic to the characters and the result of skillful storytelling, although I have to admit there were a few times when there was a certain awkwardness about the writing that was noticeable whilst not being distracting from the story. For example, the first meeting between Adrian and Lexx felt a little contrived.

I can’t honestly say that I immediately warmed to Lexx. He came across as an arrogant, rich bully. However, it didn’t take long for him to grow on me and I was soon rooting for the pair of them, even when it felt like there was no chance of a future for them.

There are some shocking moments that I honestly did not expect, but on the whole, the story is a sweet, if rocky romance between two men who are somewhat set in their ways and not really in the market for longterm love. To see their relationship deepen and blossom, even when all the petals were plucked off and they had to start again, was truly a joy.

I can absolutely recommend this book to anyone who likes their romance protagonists to have to work hard for their happy endings, especially if you are a visual reader, who likes to have the characters’ world filled with detail and colour.

RATING: 4

BUY LINKS: 

JMS Books

Amazon  

An Apology

 

This post is a multi-purpose one. First, it is an apology and explanation to my fans and friends who certainly deserve one after the way I simply dropped off the face of the earth. Secondly, it is a line in the sand, me saying, "Enough is enough, it's time to be brave and rejoin the world again". Thirdly, it's a declaration of intent, and finally, it's a plea for help, something I have not historically been very good at asking for.

During the first few weeks of the Covid epidemic, I had a breakdown of sorts. I believe it was autistic burnout (If you don't know what that is, here is a good article, or for something shorter and sweeter you can look at the National Autistic Society) although it was never officially diagnosed.

Before lockdown, I was already struggling with life, particularly the demands of promoting and marketing my work. I don't take to such things naturally and I was becoming more and more stressed out. When lockdown hit, I broke. I won't go too deeply into what happened. Needless to say, there was a lot of bleach involved (not drinking it thankfully. Suicidal thoughts have never been able to intrude into the crazy, but usually pretty optimistic jumble in my head), I slept a lot and I worried my family.

I was diagnosed with anxiety in the middle of lockdown and I spent all my time either writing or gaming without emerging from my blankie for anything else other than bleaching the shopping, furniture, my hands, etc when I had to.

Since then, I have not been able to pull things all the way back. I lost most of my coping skills and became more and more withdrawn. I don't know quite how to explain it, but I became more autistic than I have ever been. I became almost pathologically afraid of social media and I haven't been able to do anything at all. At one point, I was afraid that if I so much as opened Facebook, everyone would know and would try to pull me back in, something that terrified me so much I had nightmares about it.

Trust me, if I had been able to post, comment, publish etc, I would have. I wanted to, but I was paralyzed by fear. At no point did I mean the slightest disrespect to my friends and fans, and I know you deserved at least a few words of explanation, but I didn't have it in me to give then.

Right now, my hands are shaking writing this post, because I'm nowhere near back where I  should be. However, I can't hide forever and as patient and understanding as my publishers have been, they are businesses and they deserve my effort as much as you do. Therefore, I am back, albeit in a diminished capacity.

I would like to thank my publishers, especially eXtasy who have been waiting for the third book in the Dark Fairytales series for almost three years. I promise you all that it is finally finished and all I have left to do is go through it and check that all the plot holes are closed and loose ends tied up. The manuscript will be submitted very soon and hopefully, the book will be out this year.

Anyone who has ever read my blog, or seen any of my social media, will know how much in love I am with my Enigma series, with my darling former slave, Silver, and his devoted boyfriend, River. I expanded the initial two books, to three, which my dear friend Red Haircrow published for me on Smashwords through their own publishing company Flying with RedHaircrow. Sadly, we had to take them down and they are no longer available, but the good news is that the trilogy is now a five-part series which I intend to submit in the next couple of days, so hopefully that will be something to look forward to if anyone is prepared to pick them up. I truly hope so, as they are undoubtedly the best series I have ever written.

And now the plea for help. I can't cope with the marketing/promotion. I know that. It broke me once and I know it will break me again if I try to pick it up. I need help. At the very least I need to have an in-depth consultation with someone to formulate a plan for the future, and ideally, I need someone who can give me ongoing support and/or advice. I don't have a lot of money but I have some and I'm not asking for anything for nothing. What I''m hoping for are ideas and suggestions.

In the meantime, I won't be starting up my newsletter, but I will be making an effort to post on at least one social medium every day and to this blog once a fortnight. It's not much, but it's a start. I hope you forgive me and I will try my best not to let you down again.

For the first two books in the Dark Fairytales series check out eXtasy Publishing

Willow's Way

Tay's Trials