This is an exciting Wednesday, because, after being on the market for almost 3 years, my house has now sold and we're moving in less than 2 weeks (one of which we're on holiday for) It's crazy around here, with packing and sorting and throwing lots of things away (I'm moving from a 3 bed big house, to a 2 bed cottage. I must be crazy) I probably won't flash next week because I'll be away, but I might not be able to resist taking my laptop with me.
In all the craziness I forgot which prompt I used, but it's in there somewhere.
The weekend was hell. Robin was on edge, unconsciously
searching for Cyan. He didn’t see him, and wasn’t really surprised.
There were times when he almost went to Cyan’s house, but
what would he say? He’d gone over and over what happened in his head, and got
nowhere. At first, the kiss was the thing that dominated his thoughts. The kiss
and the uneasy recognition he wasn’t repulsed by it. In fact, the more he
relived it, the more he came to admit to himself he actually liked it.
However, as time passed, it was the expression on Cyan’s
face that hunted him. He’d hurt Cyan when he was at his most vulnerable, and
that made Robin feel really, really bad. He was such a bastard.
The feeling grew as Sunday came to an end, until he was in a
fever about seeing Cyan the next day. What would he say? Sorry? For what? He
rehearsed different speeches, over and over in his head.
I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean to run, but you shocked me, and— no, that made it sound as if he thought
say it was Cyan’s fault.
Look, the kiss was great, but I’m not gay — No, that might give him false hope. It was false hope.
I really like you as a friend, but — too corny.
I was afraid they’d think I’m gay — too honest.
In the end he settled on I’m really flattered you feel that way about
me, and if you’d been a girl I probably would have gone for it, but I’m not
gay, and I ran away because I was confused and didn’t want to embarrass us
both.
Even as he rehearsed it, he knew he
wouldn’t be able to say it, when Cyan’s sad eyes were on him.
Robin slept badly on Sunday night. It
occurred to him, when he got out of his car – the bus was out of the question
for as long as there was any possibility of bumping into Gillian — that Cyan
might not want to talk to him. It hurt when he imagined a cold look in Cyan’s
lovely eyes. Wait. What?
There was no sign of Cyan, but why would
there be? Why would Cyan wait for him at the gate today?
Cyan wasn’t in the common room, and
neither did he turn up for the history lesson. Robin realised with a sinking
heart, that he wasn’t coming in at all.
“Damn,” Aivah said when they hit the
common room again. “I was hoping you’d have sorted it out by now, and you’d
stop mooning around.”
“I am not mooning around, and I never will.”
“Sorry, mate,” Alex said, stifling
laughter, “she’s right. You haven’t heard a word we’ve said for the last ten
minutes, have you? And you’re eyes are glued to the door. Face it mate – he’s
not coming. He’s obviously not in today.”
“You should go see him,” Aivah said.
“And say what? He probably won’t see me
anyway.”
“So, what did happen?” Alex asked.
“I let him down, that’s all. He wanted
something I couldn’t give.” He realised he’d said too much as soon as the words
were out of his mouth.
“He did come on to you,” Alex said with a
grin of triumph.
“So what?” Aivah said, elbowing him. “Cyan’s
gay and you know it. He was in a state and it’s not surprising he reached out.
You ran away, didn’t you?”
“Okay. Alright. Look, it wasn’t a big
deal really. He kissed me, okay. He kissed me and I freaked out and ran away.
Now I feel like a complete bastard.”
“You shouldn’t,” Alex said. “He knows
you’re not gay, and he’s probably feeling just as bad.”
“You should go see him,” Aivah said. “He
probably thinks he’s driven you away and you’re not his friend anymore.”
“Do you think so?” Robin was alarmed. Why
hadn’t he thought of that? Suddenly, it was desperately important he see Cyan
as soon as possible.
Robin made it to the end of the day, then
headed straight to Cyan’s house.
Cyan’s mother opened the door. She looked
tired and stressed.
“Robin,” she cried, and hugged him. “I’m
so glad to see you. I was going to call but didn’t like to— Cyan told me what
happened, and I didn’t know how you feel about it.”
“He told you?” Robin burned with
embarrassment.
“He tells me everything. He had to do a
lot of talking this weekend, and it was hard on him.”
“He did? It was?”
“Come in. Sit down. We need to talk.”
“Well… I came to see if Cyan’s okay. I
should—“
“He’s not okay, Robin, not by a long
shot. Please come in. I think you can help.”
“Okay.”
Cyan’s mother installed Robin at the
kitchen table with a glass of Coke™.
“I don’t know where to start, really.
Cyan’s always had trouble in school. I’ve changed half a dozen times, in hope
he’d settle and find friends. Last time, we really thought he had. Then it came
out he was gay and things changed overnight. He was teased and bullied, then
the attack—
“I can’t begin to tell you how terrible
it was. I was sure I’d lost him. We lost his father when he was fourteen, and
he’s all I have left.”
She started to cry, and Robin had no idea
what to do. He was acutely embarrassed, and wished he’d never come. He found
his mind wandering, wondering where Cyan was. He almost jumped out of his skin
when she touched his shoulder. Jumpy much?
“I’m sorry, Robin, you don’t need to know
all this.”
“No, it’s alright,” he lied.
“After the attack, things were very bad
for Cyan. He found it hard to rationalise what happened. At first he thought it
was his fault, then he got afraid of everyone. It got so bad, he started to –
hurt himself. We didn’t notice until he-he tried to kill himself – twice. I
almost lost him again.
And now go read all the other wonderful authors who are flashing today.
