This week I took a prompt but kind of roved around it so I'm going to put it in anyway because you can probably see the connection, the intention and where it went astray. Extra mind work :D
Not even now.
Not even with my promise of love fresh in his ears does my love truly believe
in himself. At least he seems at peace. Perhaps, at last, he can at least
believe in me.
“Come, we must
retire and rest. I must send word to my father that we come and he should make
ready.”
Castien melts
into my side with a gentle sigh. “Will he like me, do you think?”
There is that
anxiety again, leeching the colour from his beautiful eyes, painting shadow
where there should be none.
“My father
will like you. He will admire you. My mother will adore you, and my sister will
steal from whatever kisses you can spare that are not for me.”
“All my kisses
are for you,” Castien breathes.
“Ah but that
is only because you live in a place where kisses are so little valued. When you
come into my world your kisses will be in such high demand they will bear a
dearer price.”
“Never for
you. My kisses will always be freely given to you.”
“Come, let us
retire. You seem tired and need to rest.”
“I’m fine. I
feel as though I could take on the world.”
“Perhaps you
can.”
I watch my
prince sleep with so much love within me it is a joyous pain. My heart beats
for him and every sigh, every flutter of his lashes makes it ache all the more.
I ponder why love should hurt this way and conclude that my heart is seeking to
fly from my chest, to be free of the poor confines of this body to encompass a
love so wide and so deep my frail human form cannot contain it. Castien murmurs
and shifts in my arms, his face beatific and I groan aloud, unable to bear the
aching beauty of him.
Sleepy eyes
blink up at me and my prince smiled. “Go to sleep,” he murmurs on a yawn and
pats my cheek. What magic is this? My painful heart calms as I fall into his
eyes and, at last, feel the pull of oblivion. I settle more comfortably and
Castien tucks his face in to my chest. Then we sleep.
The days that
follow were a blur of planning and organizing. The Council throw difficulties
into our path at every turn and both Castien and his father are reduced to
seething balls of snapping fire. It is amusing to note how alike they are
beneath their many differences. They are both quick to anger, whereupon the
king bellows and stomps while Castien seethes and paces. The king snaps orders
while Castien gives the same ones in a polite, almost hesitant way. The king
commands, Castien negotiates, and they both get things done.
Jandra
disappoints me. She is not as supportive as would have hoped from a loving
sister. She appears sullen and envious of Castien’s new status. I cannot imagine
what life must have been like for him before, but it appears he has undergone
quite a transformation and Jandra, among others, is not pleased about it.
I have tried
to talk to her, the Gods know, but all she will say is that it will end in
tears and I have no idea what I am doing. She is wrong. I see how quickly my
lover wearies when he is stressed or pushing himself to work hard, which he
does often. He is unable to accept weakness in himself even when he excuses it
in everyone else. I use many wiles to divert him when he needs to rest.
Sometimes by pretending weakness in myself; sometimes by distracting him with
pleasant endeavours and sometimes by shamelessly pointing out how Jandra
struggles with being usurped. This works far better than Jandra’s direct
confrontation and demands.
Even so,
Castien is pushing himself too hard in his attempts to prove himself to his
father. The king is impressed and readily shows it. To give him his due, he
does not falter in admitting when he is at fault and he has found many ways to
show his regret and confidence to his son. However, he is blind to the fact
that, in so doing he has awoken a fierce desire to prove worthy that is slowly
consuming Castien. It is this that makes me fear for his health and wellbeing.
But the time
of departure draws near and I know that once we are home, once Castien is able
to relax in the calm and peace that Coedwen wraps around all those who cross
its borders, when the healers have worked their magic, he will be well and
strong and everything he hopes and strives to be. All I have to do is keep him
safe until then.
There have
been times, over the course of days that I had thought this day would never
come. Delay after delay has cropped up and it has been clear over and over that
the Council are working against us as far as they dare. Of course, the
complaints are taken to the king or to Jandra, for they do not react with the
calm confidence of my prince, who deals with problems with calm logic, a steady
hand – and a wealth of knowledge that stops most of them dead in their tracks.
It seems to me as if Jandra in particular feeds the hysteria that seeks to drag
us backward. I doubt she does so deliberately but a disaffected woman is a
dangerous creature.
Thankfully,
despite the difficulties the day has dawned and we are ready to leave.
And now you need to go check out the other two amazing storytellers this week
