After waking from a coma, Noah discovers that memories are tricky, and sometimes blissful ignorance isn’t such a bad thing.
Noah wakes from a coma with no memory of who he is. As his memories return they become stranger and more sinister at every turn. He begins to suspect the accident in which he was injured wasn’t an accident at all, and refuses to accept what everyone is saying – that he threw himself off his balcony in a suicide attempt. It just doesn’t feel like something he would do. Struggling to come to terms with the shocking story he gradually uncovers, he’s helped by his friends. Yet, his best friend, Luke is acting strangely, leaving Noah to wonder just what exactly he isn’t telling him.
Today, I have a guest interviewer, the lovely Zeoanne, who is going to talk to Noah and Luke from Memories of Forgotten Love. I hope you all enjoy.
Zeoanne: Welcome, Noah and Luke. Make yourselves at home. I've made you carrot cake and tea.
Noah: (taking a large slice) Mmm. Thank you.
Luke: I thought you didn’t like carrot cake.
Noah: I didn’t. It’s weird. Since the accident, I like loads of things I didn’t before, and there are things I liked before I can bear even to smell now. Like sushi. I used to love sushi.
Luke: (grumbling) And pizza. You used to love pizza. I love pizza.
Noah: I still like pizza, just not the pizza you have. (Looks at Zeoanne) I mean, can you blame me? He likes pepperoni and tuna. Would you like that?
Luke: Well, you like pineapple and apple, like that’s not weird. It’s a fruit salad, not a pizza.
Zeoanne: You could have one of each.
Noah: (Noah shoots Luke a ‘look’ and Luke scowls) For Luke no pizza under 12” counts as a pizza.
Zeoanne: Think about a sectional, boys. Moving swiftly on – It's been over a year since last we saw you. I understand you still haven't had any contact with your father, Noah. Is this how it will be from here on and will you ever consider to at least tell your mum and sister what happened to you both?
Noah: We’ve talked about it a lot. (He glances at Luke, who leans over and takes his hand. For a moment the boys are lost in each other’s eyes, until Zeaonne coughs). Sorry. Luke knows how difficult this is for me, and he’s very protective. My father’s in prison now. He was sent down a couple of months after I got Luke back. (Again, the boys gaze at each other, but Luke nudges Noah, so Zeoanne doesn’t have to intervene again.)
There’s no way I could live with him again, and Luke really wasn’t keen about letting him get us a place, so I stayed with him for a while until we got our own place. Father put some money in the bank, and I persuaded Luke to use some of it, but most of it’s lying there still.
Luke: You know as well as I do he probably gave you that much money because he wanted to hide it from the Tax people, not because he really wanted you to have it.
Noah: (Shrugs) I really don’t care. As far as I’m concerned it’s blood money, but that’s okay by me. He owes us and no money in the world is going to pay that debt. We both paid for that money in blood, and if it helps make life a little easier for us, then great. I know you don’t want us to use it, but it’s ours, so why not?
Luke: Maybe. One day. At the moment I just feel everything he touched is dirty.
Noah: He’s my father. He touched me – not in that way, so don’t look at me like that.
Luke: (Smirks) I wasn’t. I was just thinking….
Noah: About what?
Luke: You, being dirty.
(A huge grin spreads over Luke’s face, and Noah hits him with a cushion.)
Noah: I’m sorry. He really isn’t usually like this. He’s the serious and introvert one. I’m the exhibitionist. I can only put it down to the sudden onset of insanity. The men in white coats will be here soon.
Luke: Don’t even joke about that.
Noah: See? This is how he is. I can’t even joke. (Noah’s face and voice changes as he looks at Luke and squeezes his hand.) I wasn’t mentally ill, honey, and I wasn’t in the psychiatric hospital for long. They just wanted to help…and they did. Kind of. And it’s not like it’s ever going to happen again.
Luke: (fiercely) No, never again.
Zeoanne: What is the relationship you have with your mother and sister now? I supposed that after a year they know you are together, right?
Noah: They knew straight away. I think my mother, at least, knew before. Possibly before I did. She’s spooky like that. The only reason she didn’t say anything was because she knows what my father’s like.
I can’t say our relationship went back to the way it was before, because I don’t think it ever can, not after something like that, but it’s pretty good. Ailee practically had a nervous breakdown, when they came back from their trip and I wasn’t there. She thought she was going to lose me again, and it was horrible. I had to stay at my house for a few days because she wouldn’t leave my side, although I couldn’t stand it for long, not knowing HE was in the same house. (I'd say “Knowing he was under the same roof”)
She comes over all the time. She has her own room.
Luke: Your mother isn’t doing so well though. It was a huge shock when your father went down.
Noah: And that’s exactly why we didn’t tell her about what happened to me. At least this way it wasn’t my fault.
Luke: It was never your fault.
Noah: You know what I mean. People can be funny about things like that. Bitterness and regret are dangerous things.
Luke: True. But it’s over now.
Noah: Yes. Over.
Zeoanne: I see you still have your natural color hair. Although I liked what you looked like in the pictures I've seen of you, I rather like the natural color and besides, two blondes together? Phew! *Fans herself* Good gracious, boys! You must turn quite a few heads walking on the streets.
Noah: Luke turns more heads than I do, and can you wonder? He’s beautiful. (Luke blushes, and hits Noah with the cushion) You can hardly really call my hair blonde anyway. His is like gold, well pale gold. When the sun shines, sometimes it’s almost silver. It’s so unusual, people can’t help but stare at it. Even before I knew we were in love, I was fascinated by his hair. (Noah reaches out and touches Luke’s hair. Luke turns his face away, blushing even more) That and his eyes. It’s the first thing I remember about seeing him for the first time, again.
Luke You’re the one with hair like gold. It’s not washed out and wishy washy like mine. It’s so thick and looks like honey spilled on a big…gold…something. Gah. I’m not good with words.
Noah: You’re good with the words that matter.
(Luke smiles, shyly)
Zeoanne: When you wake up in the morning what’s the first thing you do? Oh, someone is seriously blushing! Ha! (Luke is blushing giving a clue as what they do first thing in the morning)
Noah: Luke blushes at just about everything. The first think Luke does in the morning is put on the coffee pot and the first think I do is drink the coffee. Luke doesn’t like coffee. He has some disgusting fancy tea stuff.
Noah: Whatever. The important thing is, he makes coffee for me. I’m often very stiff in the morning. I still have problems with weakness in my arm and leg, and sometimes they really hurt, especially if I’m lying on that side. I get migraines too, if I get up too quickly. Let’s say I’m a slow starter.
Luke: Not in everything. What? She started it. (Explanation as to why he said 'What?' ie, Noah stared at Luke wide eyed)
Zeoanne: Noah, tell me about Luke. What do you like most about him? What are your deepest feelings for him? Where did you meet and what did you think of him at first sight? (The same question for Luke)
Noah: What do I like most about Luke? Everything. He’s fearless, beautiful, sweet, thoughtful…. Perfect. Okay, perfect for me. He takes care of me. I have a lot of ongoing needs and he’s great. Just the right balance between sympathy and kicking my arse.
My deepest feelings? Before I remembered Luke as my boyfriend, I knew him as my best friend, and that hasn’t changed. He’s everything to me. My best friend, my lover, my savior, my hero. I don’t know where I’d be now if it wasn’t for him.
Luke: You’d be wherever you wanted to be. You think I’m fearless? I’ve never known anyone like you in my life. You’ve faced some serious shit, I mean enough to put most people on their arse, but you always fight back, you always get there. I don’t have your words, and you know that.
My deepest feelings? I thought I’d lost you once, and it broke me. You’re everything to me.
Zeoanne: If you had a free day with no responsibilities and your only mission was to enjoy yourself, what would you do? Which places would you like to visit?
Luke: Amusement arcades. I’d love to go to Vegas. All that energy. I like cars too. I did a bit of racing when I was…. Well, after Noah was…. I kind of…. And I….
Noah: What Luke is trying to say, is that when I was in hospital, in a coma, and he had the ridiculous idea it was his fault, he went off the rails a bit and did some stupid, dangerous things. He still hasn’t told me everything, but I know he did some stupid stuff with cars. Idiot. He could have been killed.
Luke: That was kind of the idea at the time.
Noah: Idiot. (He gives Luke the softest look)
Zeoanne: What about you, Noah?
Noah: I like being outside. I can’t go on quite as long hikes as I did before, but I like to walk. My favourites are coastal walks. There’s nothing nicer than walking a cliff path, or on the beach at sunrise or sunset, watching the colours in the sea, and sky. All the purples and golds.
Luke: See? He’s the one with all the pretty words.
Zeoanne: You've been together for so long now, are there any plans in the future for a wedding? *Grins suggestively for an invitation*
Luke: (blushes) Umm.
(They look a little uncomfortable)
Noah: Well…. Luke’s asked me about four times.
Noah: Sorry, five. It’s not that I don’t want to get married. It’s just…
Luke: Having a big, fancy wedding is more important to him than actually marrying me.
Noah: It’s not like that, and you know it. This is why we end up arguing every time and putting the whole thing back on the shelf. There’s nothing in the world I’d like more than to marry you but you don’t understand. I spent a year on my back in a hospital, not having a clue where I was; who I was. I’m still trying to find myself. My mother and sister have gone through hell – with me, and my father, and….
Luke: And you want to put on a show for them; to play happy families.
Noah: No. That’s not it. (Sighs an turns to Zeoanne) It all comes back to my father’s money again. Luke doesn’t want to use it and that’s the only way we can afford a big wedding. I can’t explain why it’s so important to me. It’s more than just putting on a show. There are a whole bundle of things all mixed up.
I almost died. I came so close, Luke though I’d gone, which is why he ran away and did those stupid things. I’ve been told, by some…less thoughtful people, that it’s okay for me because I didn’t know what was going on, and I didn’t, not at the time. That doesn’t mean it was easy. I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew it wasn’t right. I knew I wasn’t right. I was scared. There was a big black hole in my head that was sucking the life out of me and no matter what I did, I just couldn’t fill it. I still have blanks in my memory. It’s still losing things.
Sometimes….sometimes I…I get scared. Sometimes I…I…won…der if it will all go away ag…ain. See? Wh…when I get emo….tional my speech goes…goes to…to hell, and what if…what if it all falls down around me again. Th….there are so many memories that have just….gone. I don’t remember my sister being born. I don’t rem…remember how Luke and I met, what I thought the very first time I look…looked into his…his eyes. I don rem…ember our first kiss, or…or…I d…don’t...
(Noah pauses, takes and takes a deep breath. Luke puts a hand on his arm but he shakes it off)
It’s just…. I’ve lost so many im…portant memories. I want to make new ones. Big ones. I know… I know we’re making memories every day and…and…and some of them are big ones, but….but….
Luke: Why didn’t you ever say all this before?
Noah: (lowers his head) Because we we…were al…ways in an ar…argu…ment and I can’t….I can’t….
Luke: Okay. It’s okay. I didn’t understand. I thought you were just being a spoiled rich kid.
Noah: When have I ever been…?
Luke: I know. It’s just…. I was brought up in a poor family. My mother had to fight for every penny. She has to take two jobs to keep food on the table, and you….
Noah: I’ve had everything I wanted. I guess.
Luke: If you’d told me it was this important and why…. (Luke takes a breath) Okay. We’ll do it your way. I want to do it your way. If I ask you again; if we have the big wedding you want….will you marry me?
Noah. I don’t know what…. I don’t…. Um…. Yeah. Yes, I’ll marry you.
Luke: At last! And of course it would have to be when I don’t have your bloody ring in my pocket.
Noah: You have a ring?
Luke: My mother gave me my father’s wedding ring.
Noah: Your fa…father’s. Why didn’t you tell me?
Luke: We were always in a row, and you’d get…like you do, and I’d get scared and…. It never came up.
Noah: (Noah gets up and throws his arms around Luke) We’ve both been idiots. I’m so sorry. I love you, Luke. I’d marry you right here and now if I could.
Zeoanne: So there’s going to be a wedding? (I'm sitting here with moisture in my eyes and a huge grin. I mean, Wow! How lucky of me to be witness to this proposal, here, in my own home!)
Noah: Yeah, there’s going to be a wedding, and of course you’re getting an invite. So will Nephy.
Zeoanne: Aww, you two look so damn gorgeous together. I love the way Luke blushes when he's on the spot. Are you always this shy?
Noah: He so is. It’s uber adorable. I love it.
Luke: Shut up.
Zeoanne: I adore the way you look at each other. There is so much love expressed in your eyes. I bet your friends envy the sort of relationship you two have.
Noah: Not all of them. Some of them don’t like that we’re together at all. Well…to be fair, they’re former friends now. Most of them are great.
Luke: We get teased all the time, but Beth and Aiden are pretty soppy, too.
Zeoanne: Noah, how did you manage school after been absent for a year? Was it difficult to get back and did you graduate?
Noah: I haven’t gone back to school. It’s something I’ve thought about, but we both need to work at the moment.
Luke: We don’t really. I told you. I can get another job. We’ll manage. You should go to school.
Noah: It’s too soon, Luke. I can’t…. I can’t study right now. My head’s not back together enough.
Luke: That’s an excuse. If I give in and use your father’s money for the wedding, you can get over your fear and get back to school. You know you’ll get into college easy enough. You should be going to university. You’ve got the brain for it. And don’t give me any crap about your brain being faulty because it’s not.
Noah: You just don’t want to believe that. You know I’m still having problems with my memory. I can’t remember what happened last week, let alone school work.
Luke: I think you’re wrong, but you have to do what you want. This isn’t something I can make you do.
Zeoanne: Were you out at school and were you accepted without any repercussion?
Noah: No, we weren’t out at school. We were keeping it secret, mainly because of my father. We’re completely out now, though, and no chance of us ever going back in the closet.
Zeoanne: I don't know how long your father's sentence is but are you afraid of anything happening to either of you once he's out?
Noah: Not at all. He never really meant to hurt either of us in the first place. He’s a weak man, and he just didn’t have the courage to stand up for what he’d done. He’s been punished now. He’ll be in prison for another four years, and he keeps asking to see me, to say sorry. I won’t be going anywhere near him, and if I never see him again it won’t be a moment too soon. I think the biggest danger I’ll be in is of being nagged to death by mother to try to repair our relationship, which is never going to happen.
Zeoanne: How do you feel about your life right now? What, if anything, would you like to change?
Noah: Absolutely nothing.
Luke: Apart from that I’d like Noah to go to school, I wouldn’t want to change anything either.
Zeoanne: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Noah: Being with Luke…especially in bed.
Zeoanne: What is your greatest fear?
Luke: That I’ll lose Noah. I thought I had once, and I fell apart completely. I don’t think I could survive it again.
Noah: I think you’re wrong. There’s nothing you can’t survive. I keep telling you, you’re the strong one. What’s my fear? Apart from the obvious, I…. Sometimes I wake in the night, and for a moment I don’t know where I am, and I panic. I remember that feeling and I’m really scared that one day I’ll wake up with that feeling and it won’t go away. The thought of getting Alzheimer’s or Dementia terrifies me.
Luke: I think you’ve got a while to go before you have to worry about that.
Noah: I hope so
Zeoanne: It was great having you share your thoughts with us. I know you have a large audience who adore you and would love to get to know you better. I think this interview will help with that. I hope you'll have many, many years of happiness together and I also hope you will visit us again someday.
Noah: Wait. What? There’s an audience? What audience?
Luke: The people who read the book, dingbat.
Noah: Stop calling me that. It makes you sound like a complete dork.
Luke: And saying dork doesn’t?
Noah: (rolls eyes) Whatever. So, this audience. Do you mean, like, fans? Of us? Wow. Why? Why would anyone want to be a fan of me?
Luke: Oh no reason, just the little fact you went through what you did and survived. It’s one heck of a story, Noah.
Noah: I guess.
Luke: You guess?
Noah: Yes, alright. It’s a good story. Exciting, interesting, touching…whatever. A great story if you’re not living it.
Luke: True, but Nephy’s a great writer. She’ll have everyone living it with you.
Noah: God help them. I hope they enjoy it. Hey you out there, reading this. I went through hell for you to have a good story, you’d better bloody enjoy it.
Luke: You didn’t go through hell for the story. Stop being over dramatic.
Noah: Stop being so sensible.
Luke: You’re impossible. Just read the bloody book, will you? Go get it while I take this drama queen home.
Thank you Zeoanne, and thank you boys. You're so sweet.
If you want to do as commanded by Luke and 'buy the bloody book' you can find it here
If you would like to find out a bit more about Nephylim and her craziness, a good friend, Frostina, has a marvelous interview posted Here