We're here at another Wednesday and another Cyan. The days are definitely getting colder and OMG the nights!! Christmas is just around the corner and all my trimmings are up. I love this time of year. All the sparkle and twinkle and shiny pretties. I'm living in an enchanted forest at the moment, and loving it.
So, on to this week's offering. You're going to have to use your imagination to see where the prompt comes in
Cyan moaned softly as their lips met. For a moment there was
resistance, then Cyan melted against him and hugged him gently. For all he
didn’t like touching, Cyan was a great kisser and literally took Robin’s breath
away.
While they kissed, Cyan’s hands ghosted over Robin’s hair,
back and arms. It was almost as if he was too afraid to touch him. Robin
compensated by holding Cyan closer and letting his hands wander over Cyan’s
slender back.
“You’re so gentle,” Robin gasped, when they came up for air.
“You won’t break me, you know.”
Cyan frowned, a strange expression in his eyes. “Don’t you
like it?” he asked.
“Oh course I like it. I like everything you do.”
Cyan’s face lit up again. “It’s just…,” he said shyly. “It’s
just too much. Your touch and smell, and the kiss and your body and— If I touch you too, it’s too
much. Do you understand?”
“Kinda.”
Robin frowned, processing. “But what about when…you know…if we…go all the way.
Will that be too much? Will you be able to handle it? Have you?” he added as an
afterthought.
Cyan
ducked his head. “Only once,” he said, “and that was awful. I—” He raised his
head and Robin was horrified to see tears in his eyes. He reached out to brush
the hair out of Cyan’s face and was horrified when Cyan winced.
“I’m
sorry,” Cyan said in a cowed voice. “It’s just— It make think…about…about
when…when it…happened.”
Robin was
mystified for a moment. Cyan looked sick and his words seemed almost to have
been drawn out of him by force. Had his one sexual experience been so bad he couldn’t
even think about it? Had it been too much? Too much sensory overload? Too much
touching? Too much—? What if he—? If they—? Then it hit him. Cyan wasn’t
talking about his boyfriend. He wasn’t talking about a loving relationship.
“Oh shit,”
Robin said. “You’re talking about the rape. That’s the only time.”
Cyan
cringed and looked like he was about to be sick. He was shaking but Robin was
afraid to embrace him. Would he welcome the physical contact now he was back in
that place.
“It’s not
like that, Cyan, I swear. When you love someone it’s not like that. It’s not a
violation. It much have hurt so much, and I would never, ever do that to you.
I’ll never hurt you. I swear.”
Cyan
nodded, but he still looked haunted.
“Can I
hold you?”
Cyan gazed
at him for a moment, chewing his lip, then nodded. Robin carefully drew him
into his arms, and though he shuddered, he didn’t pull away. “I’m so sorry,”
Robin said.
“Sorry?
Why are you sorry? What are you going to do?” Cyan sounded fearful, and drew
away.
“I’m not going
to do anything, except hold you and protect you, and make sure nothing like
that ever happens to you again.”
“Then why
are you sorry?”
“I’m sorry
because you went through all that. That you were hurt, and it— I’m sorry I
wasn’t there. I’m sorry I can’t kill the bastards who did it to you. I’m sorry
it’s still hurting you. I’m sorry I made you think about it. I’m…I’m just
sorry.”
Cyan’s
eyes, bright with tears as they were, lit up and the smile that crept
tremulously over his face was beautiful. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You make
me feel safe.”
“You will
always be safe when I’m with you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
The smile
faded from Cyan’s face. “What if…? What if I can’t anymore? What if I always
think about it when we—? What if I’m damaged? What if—?”
“We’ll
deal with it when it comes, and if you can’t…Maybe you can do it to me. I
wouldn’t mind. Then you’d be in control and it wouldn’t feel the same at all.”
Wonder
blossomed in Cyan’s expression. “You would? You’d do that for me? Even though
you’re not gay? I kind of assumed— I thought you’d have to— I thought you’d
kind of pretend I’m a girl and do it that way.”
“Your mind
is a wonderful thing, but it’s dangerous. I’m never, ever going to pretend
you’re a girl. And I think we can safely say I’m at least bisexual, because
I’ve never wanted a girl as much as I want you. And as for sex…who knows? We’ll
have to ‘suck it and see’”
Cyan’s
eyes widened. “I could do that. I’ve done that. It tasted good.”
Robin
cracked, laughter bubbling until he had to bend over and hold his sides. It was
at least partly hysterical and once he started he couldn’t stop. Cyan laughed
too, but he stopped and patted Robin’s back.
“Are you
alright?” he said. “I don’t think you’re supposed to do it that much.
“You…you’re
so…so….” Robin pulled Cyan to him and kissed him hard. Cyan jerked back, but
Robin held on and it only took a moment for Cyan to capitulate and kissed him
back just as hard.
When
they’d finished Robin licked his lips. “We’re going to have to work on the
metaphors and idioms,” he said. “’Suck it and see’ is a saying my mother uses
all the time. It means give it a try and see what happens. Not what you were
thinking.”
“Oh,” Cyan
said, then chuckled. “We can do it my way though, can’t we?” He wiggled his
eyebrows.
“I think that counts as trying it out, and I’m pretty damn good. Or
so I hear.”
Robin
choked, then grinned. “Oh yeah. We can do it your way. I can wait to ‘suck it
and see’ especially if it’s you doing the sucking.”
Now head of to taste the other delectable delights on offer for you this fine, chilly winter morning
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