We're here at another Wednesday and another Cyan. The days are definitely getting colder and OMG the nights!! Christmas is just around the corner and all my trimmings are up. I love this time of year. All the sparkle and twinkle and shiny pretties. I'm living in an enchanted forest at the moment, and loving it.
So, on to this week's offering. You're going to have to use your imagination to see where the prompt comes in
Cyan moaned softly as their lips met. For a moment there was resistance, then Cyan melted against him and hugged him gently. For all he didn’t like touching, Cyan was a great kisser and literally took Robin’s breath away.
While they kissed, Cyan’s hands ghosted over Robin’s hair, back and arms. It was almost as if he was too afraid to touch him. Robin compensated by holding Cyan closer and letting his hands wander over Cyan’s slender back.
“You’re so gentle,” Robin gasped, when they came up for air. “You won’t break me, you know.”
Cyan frowned, a strange expression in his eyes. “Don’t you like it?” he asked.
“Oh course I like it. I like everything you do.”
Cyan’s face lit up again. “It’s just…,” he said shyly. “It’s just too much. Your touch and smell, and the kiss and your body and— If I touch you too, it’s too much. Do you understand?”
“Kinda.” Robin frowned, processing. “But what about when…you know…if we…go all the way. Will that be too much? Will you be able to handle it? Have you?” he added as an afterthought.
Cyan ducked his head. “Only once,” he said, “and that was awful. I—” He raised his head and Robin was horrified to see tears in his eyes. He reached out to brush the hair out of Cyan’s face and was horrified when Cyan winced.
“I’m sorry,” Cyan said in a cowed voice. “It’s just— It make think…about…about when…when it…happened.”
Robin was mystified for a moment. Cyan looked sick and his words seemed almost to have been drawn out of him by force. Had his one sexual experience been so bad he couldn’t even think about it? Had it been too much? Too much sensory overload? Too much touching? Too much—? What if he—? If they—? Then it hit him. Cyan wasn’t talking about his boyfriend. He wasn’t talking about a loving relationship.
“Oh shit,” Robin said. “You’re talking about the rape. That’s the only time.”
Cyan cringed and looked like he was about to be sick. He was shaking but Robin was afraid to embrace him. Would he welcome the physical contact now he was back in that place.
“It’s not like that, Cyan, I swear. When you love someone it’s not like that. It’s not a violation. It much have hurt so much, and I would never, ever do that to you. I’ll never hurt you. I swear.”
Cyan nodded, but he still looked haunted.
“Can I hold you?”
Cyan gazed at him for a moment, chewing his lip, then nodded. Robin carefully drew him into his arms, and though he shuddered, he didn’t pull away. “I’m so sorry,” Robin said.
“Sorry? Why are you sorry? What are you going to do?” Cyan sounded fearful, and drew away.
“I’m not going to do anything, except hold you and protect you, and make sure nothing like that ever happens to you again.”
“Then why are you sorry?”
“I’m sorry because you went through all that. That you were hurt, and it— I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I can’t kill the bastards who did it to you. I’m sorry it’s still hurting you. I’m sorry I made you think about it. I’m…I’m just sorry.”
Cyan’s eyes, bright with tears as they were, lit up and the smile that crept tremulously over his face was beautiful. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You make me feel safe.”
“You will always be safe when I’m with you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
The smile faded from Cyan’s face. “What if…? What if I can’t anymore? What if I always think about it when we—? What if I’m damaged? What if—?”
“We’ll deal with it when it comes, and if you can’t…Maybe you can do it to me. I wouldn’t mind. Then you’d be in control and it wouldn’t feel the same at all.”
Wonder blossomed in Cyan’s expression. “You would? You’d do that for me? Even though you’re not gay? I kind of assumed— I thought you’d have to— I thought you’d kind of pretend I’m a girl and do it that way.”
“Your mind is a wonderful thing, but it’s dangerous. I’m never, ever going to pretend you’re a girl. And I think we can safely say I’m at least bisexual, because I’ve never wanted a girl as much as I want you. And as for sex…who knows? We’ll have to ‘suck it and see’”
Cyan’s eyes widened. “I could do that. I’ve done that. It tasted good.”
Robin cracked, laughter bubbling until he had to bend over and hold his sides. It was at least partly hysterical and once he started he couldn’t stop. Cyan laughed too, but he stopped and patted Robin’s back.
“Are you alright?” he said. “I don’t think you’re supposed to do it that much.
“You…you’re so…so….” Robin pulled Cyan to him and kissed him hard. Cyan jerked back, but Robin held on and it only took a moment for Cyan to capitulate and kissed him back just as hard.
When they’d finished Robin licked his lips. “We’re going to have to work on the metaphors and idioms,” he said. “’Suck it and see’ is a saying my mother uses all the time. It means give it a try and see what happens. Not what you were thinking.”
“Oh,” Cyan said, then chuckled. “We can do it my way though, can’t we?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“I think that counts as trying it out, and I’m pretty damn good. Or so I hear.”
Robin choked, then grinned. “Oh yeah. We can do it your way. I can wait to ‘suck it and see’ especially if it’s you doing the sucking.”
Now head of to taste the other delectable delights on offer for you this fine, chilly winter morning